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Iceman
2006-12-19, 10:46
On Thursday December 14th 2006 a powerful windstorm swept thru the Pacific Northwest, knocking out power to over 1.5 million folks, leaving many without electricity for almost a week now. Predictions are that many will not have power returned until past xmas, maybe the new year. (Boo hoo F-ing hoo!) This happens all over the planet, every week, it has happened to you, your aunt, your buddy from Tuscaloosa.

Someone please tell me that you also live with millions of idiots, unable to care for themselves, unwilling to prepare for disaster, people who blame the government for no power, blame the contractors for leaving weak trees up in the new neighborhoods(trees which fall down on homes when winds exceed fifty miles per hour), blame the cell phone companies for not placing cell towers on each mountain ridge so that idiots who get lost in the wilderness (idiots who drive their families up frozen mountain roads, with poor maps, no survival equipment, who have filed no plan with anybody, against the advice of officials, drive their subaru up snow covered roads, with no chains, until snow is pushing up onto the windshield, then try to turn around, then get stuck, then stay in their car for nine days, then leave their car, then instead of walking back down the six mile road to the rescuers takes a "shortcut", then walks and stumbles around in a hypothermic state until they are tossing all of their clothes off in a cold induced stumble to their death) can call for help. Idiots who blame the forest service for not locking the gates so that other idiots will not drive to their death. Idiots who attempt summiting local mountains days before a major windstorm is predicted, without telling anyone, or contingency plan.

Out here we call idiots, HEROES! Yea for the Heroes! We are all heroes! Yea!

Seattle residents are placing generators in their living rooms, sleeping the whole family around the charcoal grill placed in the bedroom, leaving twelve candles on the straw mat next to the paper mache' storage area, and trying to heat their home with an extension cord leading from the inverter in their car parked in their garage at night. Dead people. (Not their fault)

Hello?! Is anyone in there? McFly!? Carbon Monoxide poisoning, fire, death. Hello?!

Believe it. Out here in "Sanfrancisco North" (Seattle) we blame everyone but ourselves for anything that goes wrong. If we drive into the woods and get lost, damn those GPS makers! Subaru gets stuck in snow, damn those cell phone companies for not having a cell tower every 100 yards! Power goes out for a week, damn those contractors and power companies! Always someone elses fault, not mine.

I am living with millions of idiots.

Here is an excerpt/quote from a local doctor: "We're dealing with a carbon-monoxide epidemic in Western Washington," said Dr. Neil B. Hampson at Virginia Mason's Center for Hyperbaric Medicine. "This has the potential to be the worst case of carbon monoxide poisoning in the country."

Now, in "Sanfrancisco North", even stupidity is defined by local "professionals" in medical terms.

Stupid = not your fault. (someone else's fault you are stupid) I am sure the good doctor can prescribe some medicine to fix my stupidity. Thank goodness for doctors, they will save me. Yea!

We do have an epidemic in Seattle! It is stupidity! The good doctors quote means; there are more stupid people per capita in Seattle, than in other parts of the country. Seattle = Stupid.

(Also of interest, we are now placing suicide phones at the end of each of our popular bridges for ending it all in one jump. They did not like my idea of placing a target at the bottom. You may as well be successful at one point in your life, try to hit the target at least. I also offered a suggestion where we place a coffin below the bridge, a "guest sign in board" and wind sock. If you make it inside the target zone without too much mess, we will bury you for free! They did not like my ideas.)

Welcome to my world.

KBob
2006-12-19, 11:30
Yes I agree, as my friend used to say if the Soviet Union and the US had traded nukes, maybe 50 million dead, right away the rest in a few weeks by starvation since they couldn't get can goods open without a electric can opener. Yes Kim wasn't a hero, kind of dumb, to hang around the car if the walk back the road wasn't that far. Cross-country no way.

dropkick
2006-12-19, 16:17
(Also of interest, we are now placing suicide phones at the end of each of our popular bridges for ending it all in one jump. They did not like my idea of placing a target at the bottom. You may as well be successful at one point in your life, try to hit the target at least. I also offered a suggestion where we place a coffin below the bridge, a "guest sign in board" and wind sock. If you make it inside the target zone without too much mess, we will bury you for free! They did not like my ideas.)
You can't do this!!
Think of how bad it could damage the self esteem of the people who miss the target.

Take-a-knee
2006-12-19, 19:28
Iceman, you inspired me to go out and buy a generator.

deadeye
2006-12-19, 22:18
I kinda feel like a jerk making fun of others' tragedies, but like so many things in life, I'll get over it. Even my wife, the "I'll stay home while you go outside and play" perfect indoorswoman, wondered why, oh why, if these guys were able to leave a note pinned to the door of the ranger station... why the hell didn't they STAY AT THE RANGER STATION?!?!?:argh:

Skidsteer
2006-12-19, 22:55
Outstanding rant Iceman!

I enjoyed it immensely.

JAK
2006-12-19, 23:24
Iceman, you inspired me to go out and buy a generator.Iceman, you inspired me to stop being so damned politically correct all the time. LMAO.

Epidemic for sure.

Iceman
2006-12-20, 11:15
Boy do I ever have to get my facts straight!

Now that the majority of power has been restored to the Seattle Metro area, areas inside the city of Seattle boundary, city health officials have determined that the majority of lives lost due to carbon monoxide poisoning were from the non-english speaking immigrant and illegal alien community. It appears that individuals were used to bringing charcoal cooking devices inside their previous homes (huts with no door/windows). Apparently these folks do not understand that you cannot "do that" in a structure built to our strict energy efficiency standards. Cooking on coals inside your apartment is a "no-no", "no good", "no-do", "no fire on floor", "no hotty and squatty", "no cooky in roomy" .

Simple mistake. Who would have known. These folks are simply "un-informed."

So, now that the emergency is over, city officials have decided to remedy the problem. Instead of encouraging our non-english speaking community to learn to speak english (so that they can read a bag of Kingsford), city officials have instead decided to exhaust city resources by deploying city health officials, doctors, everyone out onto the streets, armed with brochures printed in a dozen different languages. Officials have decide to react to the problem of "no speaky english", with cartoon character drawings and notifications in somali and vietnamese. Now that is leadership! I guess there really are no idiots in Seattle after all. My bad!

I was going to call them and suggest that they push for federal legislation that would require manufacturers of anything that can be piled up and burned in your living room, a requirement to include warnings regarding the hazards associated with torching ones own home, in 126 nationally recognized "first" languages. Also to set up a fund to help build new homes for those who have burned down their rental structures due to power outages. Then I realized that they probably have already "thunk" of it. Silly me.

Another wind storm predicted tonight. Watch your wallets!

KBob
2006-12-20, 18:13
Gee Iceman the reason they died is Bush's fault! He should have got the power fixed the day it went out. When Hillary takes office immigrant abuse will stop. NOT Iceman "A voice of reason from the left coast."

SowthEfrikan
2006-12-20, 20:09
LOL! Did you really suggest a target? If you did, you just made my hero list.

It's kinda like wanting to write a definitive book on suicide - just one easy lesson.

It's the people who are left behind who get to feel badly about this stuff.