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KBob
2007-07-08, 18:58
I once made Kimchee ramen with can chicken, Never again, sleeping in a hammock and having to get up and go every 10 minutes, ug.

Amigi
2007-07-08, 19:11
It wasn't the meal, but the pot. I did a seven day out and back about six years ago, and at lunch on day four ( the dead mid point ) as I was cooking up some noodles, I dropped my bladder into the river while filling it. It took me time to take off my boots, roll up my pants and wade out to where it had lodged on a plant. When I got back, my noodles had crusted to the bottom of the pan. No pot the next three days. I ate soupy oatmeal and cold-soaked noodles the rest of the way home. I've freezer bagged cooked since. Not always, but everytime I don't, I think about that time. Keeps me aware.
Worst meal in and of itself, was some Quik-N-Easy Mac and Cheese. It tasted like shit and that's all I did myself.

Just Jeff
2007-07-08, 19:31
Once I had some hot jello to drink...it was awesome. Next time I tried it with pistaccio jello pudding. Nastiest. If I weren't in an alpine area I would have dumped it on the ground. The other folks in the group made fun of me... :(

The other nastiness was a dinner on the Foothills Trail...that's when I realized that freezer bag cooking takes less water than the Lipton directions call for. Lipton noodles make NASTY soup...kinda like eating paste with herbs sprinkled in.

JAK
2007-07-08, 19:55
I guess it would be that first time at Goose River when we boiled our pasta in seawater instead of fresh water. Yuk.

Turk
2007-07-08, 20:15
Baked apple-pie pockets done over the fire. Just add water, dough recipe, and canned apple filling. The first night they were fantastic. But we had brought too much. Second night, decided the dough was a bit dry and little bland. Decided to add some sugar to the mix. Mistake was dumping in the remainder of the salt bottle instead of the sugar bottle.

Neither of us will ever forget the look on each others face when we took the first bite. :biggrin: :stupid: :shot:

deadeye
2007-07-08, 21:48
Had some Bisquick that the mice had got into. I sifted out all the little turds, and made biscuits. They were pretty good... until I was reminded that where a mouse craps, it pees.:afraid:

We tossed the biscuits, and fortunately didn't toss our cookies.

Take-a-knee
2007-07-08, 21:52
You can get Leptospirosis from rat urine.

Just Jeff
2007-07-08, 23:00
And disgusted, which is even worse.

dropkick
2007-07-09, 02:03
This wasn't actually the worst meal I've ever had but I still remember it after all these years;

I went camping with some friends, I was about 6 years old.
I was supposed to bring the food for breakfast and I had picked the meal and packed it myself.
I carefully wrapped the eggs in 12 socks (1 for each egg) and set them in the bottom of my new pack, and loaded everything a 6 year old thinks he might need for an overnighter on top of them (my pack probably weighed more than I did).
We were driven out to the "wilderness" (a line cabin w/phone and electricity, about 1/4 mile from a friend's ranch house) and spent the night.
The next morning I unpacked my pack and when I got to the bottom I had the expected result.
As we would starve to death without the food we poured the bottom of my pack out into a pan, and then wrung out the socks into it.
We cooked over an open fire in a ring beside the house.
We had a fine meal of burnt bacon (cooked on a stick) and burnt scrambled eggs.
We survived our wilderness ordeal, and around 9 or 10 a.m. one of our parents picked us up.


I've eaten worse though, When fishing I used to make packets of burger and vegetables in foil and bury them together with the coals of my breakfast fire. If I made it back to camp around noon I would dig it up and usually have a very good meal. However if I put to many coals in it would be overcooked, and if I skipped lunch because of the fishing it was sure to be overcooked.
There were a few times I came back and had what could only be called a warm charcoal briquet for dinner. - I still ate it though.

Seeker
2007-07-22, 01:45
The other nastiness was a dinner on the Foothills Trail...that's when I realized that freezer bag cooking takes less water than the Lipton directions call for. Lipton noodles make NASTY soup...kinda like eating paste with herbs sprinkled in.

my "worst" was probably the time i did something similar. i don't know what it is about the woods, but sometimes i use my brain like it's my first day with it or something... anyway, sometimes i camp with my daughter, other times i'm alone. with the two of us, it's a whole lipton package and a little less than 2 cups of water. when it's just me, it's a half package and a little less than 1 cup of water. you all know the drill. well, i've done a half lipton (sounds like an olympic skating move) with 2 cups of water, and the resulting over-cooked paste was close to inedible, like jeff said.

also along the lines of 'what was i thinking' was a morning when i got up and made my oatmeal. i poured my oatmeal/powdered milk mix into my titan kettle, added a cup of water, stirred it up, set it on my stove, and wandered off to do some "plumbing maintenance". when i got back, everything was looking good. a little steam coming up from the pot, water was starting to boil... just like in the microwave at home... hey. wait a minute... that was instant oatmeal, and i'm camping, not at home... all you do is boil the water and THEN add it to the dry mix... uh oh... i didn't... oh man!! yeah, you guessed it. burned oatmeal. but i ate it. (hey, i was hungry. get off me. none of you former army bubbas can tell me you've not picked up food you'd dropped on the ground, blew it off, or held it out in the rain to rinse it off, and ate it because it was that or nothing.) so anyway, it took a little longer than usual to clean up. chiseled it off the bottom with my spoon, then a stick, and then some sand from the creek. the pot is still stained.

Spice1
2007-07-22, 02:02
ROFL....

Seeker, that reminds me of last year. My fiance had never hoboed, never through trekked, never done more than two days out. We're about 80 miles in, and while we are near a town, I say that I'll go get beverages, and she says she'll cook lunch.

Now, we dehydrated a bunch of our own food, and let me say, homemade dehydrated chili is F*&king amazing! But I come back, and she had the baggy full of chili in the pot, sitting on top of our whisperlite (jet engine) and is stirring away....


WITH NO WATER!

I had been gone about twenty minutes, and still like to joke about my stainless steel blacklite pot...

Worst meal I ever cooked wasn't on the trail, but my first attempt at cooking a casserole when in college had to be the only time something was burnt and raw at the same time....

lucky luke
2007-07-22, 04:09
high,

my worst meal and bay far the worst meal ever was:
no name mac&cheese from the 1$ store in that town where mt. rogers outfitters are. is that damascus?

i cooked them and threw them out into the firering. in the morning a fox came by, had a look, got a fierce grin, and walked off with stiff legs. he wouldnīt touch it, just like me.... then i started a fire ( which i usually donīt do) and burned that stuff. i was lucky it didnīt explode...

well as my name indicates i am always kind of lucky.:biggrin:

happy trails
lucky luke

Iceman
2007-07-22, 11:17
Not my worst meal ever, but I thought I could kill two birds with one stone once, and decided to make a custom breakfast meal of oatmeal and coffee. One cup, easy right? Coffee flavored oatmeal doesn't taste like either, more like guano paste.

doug12
2007-08-08, 04:24
Got home from work, starving, and had only a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese and butter pecan ice cream. Tried to make the macaroni with the melted ice cream replacing the milk.... not even the neighborhood dogs would eat that mess.

KBob
2007-08-09, 12:16
Iceman said: "more like guano paste" no I reserve that flavor for the old Turkey Ala King MRE, eaten at room temp.

dropkick
2007-08-10, 00:22
I just wonder how KBob and Iceman learned what guano paste tasted like to begin with.

Iceman
2007-08-10, 00:31
Really, I was just guessing. Guano paste doesnt taste anything like my morning oatjoe. I was guessing about the oatjoe. Like a friend of mine who said "incest, don't knock it until you've tried it..." I said I did try it, "I skrewed your mom and your sister. He said he was talking about his dad...

dropkick
2007-08-10, 06:29
You've never known really gross until your grampa kisses you goodnight and slips you the tongue.

Amigi
2007-08-12, 13:41
Really, I was just guessing. Guano paste doesnt taste anything like my morning oatjoe. I was guessing about the oatjoe. Like a friend of mine who said "incest, don't knock it until you've tried it..." I said I did try it, "I skrewed your mom and your sister. He said he was talking about his dad...

My good laugh for the day:beer:

yuppie_redneck
2008-01-14, 02:13
For 4 years at undergrad I survived on .19 no name generic mac and cheese. You'd think I would hate it - but it's basically raman if you spice it right.

Worst meal ever?

Hands down. Mexico - first trip into interior. Stopped at a "restaurant" and learned that don't drink the water means don't eat food that hasn't been BURNT or BOILED past recognition in it either. Well, you couldn't recognize what kind of animal that was hanging up over the entryway before it was cooked anyway.

Made the rest of the hike on canned food, meds, and frequent stops.

Wise Old Owl
2008-01-14, 03:14
Went out with several freeze dried packages without checking the instructions beforehand. One was an old mountain house called Pheasant Omelet. When I opened it, the familiar bag & cook loop was missing. It said I need to use a pan! so I did. But I didn't have oil or nonstick. - So it burned the moment it started to get warm. - Couldn't get it out of the damn pan. My idea of a nice long trip became an overnighter.:argh:

Tipi Walter
2008-01-14, 12:57
I was at the end of a 10 day backpacking trip and my food was running low. All I had was some dehydrated mashed potatoes and brown sugar so I mixed them up in the cook pot. DO NOT DO THIS AT HOME.

Another time I got a bag of dehydrated green split pea powder and had to toss it after cooking. Pure glop my dog wouldn't even eat.

And how many pots of under-cooked lentils did I try to eat??

But I refuse to rag on the humble Oat or Oatmeal, god's gift to the weary backpacker. Oats DO get old but if you're not hungry for oatmeal, well, you're just not hungry enough.

MalTheElder
2008-01-14, 15:56
. . . Pheasant Omelet . . .

Nuff sed. . . . :shot:

Mal

bish777
2008-01-14, 17:37
MRE-Meals Rejected by Ethiopians. Often traded my boil in the bag Brit compo to Americans out of pity for them having to eat that rubbish. The Germans have the best rations I've tried thus far.

Once accidentally put my compo hot chocolate powder in with my veggies instead of the beef stock powder. I had a severed cold at the time so couldnt smell the difference. And it was 3am. In a shellscrape. After a long tab (Americans read tab as long forced march).

Revolting but was so hungry i just ate it.

Iceman
2008-01-16, 01:03
...Revolting but was so hungry i just ate it.

Now that's funny! :biggrin:

bish777
2008-01-16, 19:59
Was glad of the food. Having been chased up and down hills by a sadistic physical training instructor I was really happy to sit eat and then collapse into my sleeping bag for a few hours.

Sgt Rock may be the fit running around type(much respect to that), but my career in the forces centred around working with electronics and finding excuses to not turn up for PT! "Oh I have to go repair the faulty *insert importand gadget here*, cant make PT this morning sir....." etc etc

JAK
2008-01-16, 20:25
I just made the worst soup ever, in a crock pot. Had to toss it. Something about the homemade beer didn't mix well with the unskinned potatoes. Definitely pushed the envelope to far on that one.

JAK
2008-01-16, 20:27
In fact it was so bad I almost posted it in the crotch-rot thread.

Iceman
2008-01-16, 20:32
In fact it was so bad I almost posted it in the crotch-rot thread.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: