View Full Version : e-poop

2009-03-20, 21:42

n. emergency poop, giving little warning and often during steep and/or exposed sections of trail. there are 5 defcon levels, relating to the level of emergency:

defcon 1 - You've eaten something and it will be making it's exit sometime, but not in the near future.

Defcon 2 - You definitely have to go in the next few hours but will likely wait fo a privy. People under level 2 generally will sit on a toilet and wait it out if in town. Mild flatulence.

Defcon 3- You are actively looking for a spot to execute code brown (http://hikinghq.net/forum/showthread.php?p=90309#post90309), and will likely go if there is enough cover and the area is level. Moderately uncomfortable, substantial flatulence. The highest level generaly tolerated in "normal" society.

Defcon 4- You are running for the nearest spot and may even use the trail. Kidneys hurt. Flatulence is NOT to be trusted. You are definitely digging the hole AFTER the deed.

Defcon 5- Too late. Buy new pants. You should have reconsidered that town food or sketchy hiker box item. This should never happen to you, and if it happens more than once see your gastrointerologist.

(courtecy of CC Rider, '08 thru-hiker)