PDA

View Full Version : Defenseless on the trail



Tin Man
2011-06-03, 22:15
I think it would be best to announce the following before my next hike...

When I pack, I ain't packin'
What I carry, ain't considered carryin'
My knife is small... and plastic
I simply carry my brain and my wits, but my friends call be a simple, brainless nitwit :albertein

I feel so defenseless! :bath:

Oh my, whatever should I do? I am so skeered. :ahhhhh:

saimyoji
2011-06-03, 22:32
bring a dog and don't leash it.

Tin Man
2011-06-03, 22:43
i don't have a dog, just my friend...

https://www.atctrailstore.org/images/imid522L.jpg

i call him wolfie

Nearly Normal
2011-06-03, 22:44
bring a dog and don't leash it.

A good voice counts for a lot.

Tin Man
2011-06-03, 22:47
A good voice counts for a lot.

i can't count fer sheet :argh:

Nearly Normal
2011-06-03, 22:58
i can't count fer sheet :argh:

25 count, perfect for the grill, next to the turf.

General
2011-06-03, 23:00
sometimes i hike with two home made maple hiking sticks. hand carved and shit, with two spikes for tips. corse threaded on one end to screw up into the stick and sharpened regularly (on a grinding wheel) on the other. if the stick doesn't do the trick then the 2 inch spikes most likely will. if that doesn't work, i keep a pistol in me pocket.

Tin Man
2011-06-03, 23:03
i am thinking of taking my lekis to an arms expert to convert them into nerf guns. would that help?

MonkeyBoy
2011-06-04, 00:26
I just fling poo at 'em.

Works every time.

Tin Man
2011-06-04, 00:28
I just fling poo at 'em.

Works every time.

...and with weasy at your side, you will never run out of ammo :ahhhhh:

ed bell
2011-06-04, 01:05
The only hike announcin' I've ever done was to the folks I was going to hike with....and even they aren't in my pack....

JoeyB
2011-06-04, 07:04
http://www.charterfirearms.com/products/Charter_Southpaw_93820.html

although mine's not the two tone pink.

SGT Rock
2011-06-04, 13:33
Don't bathe. It works for me.

Tin Man
2011-06-04, 13:41
Don't bathe. It works for me.

Best weapon. That and beans.

SGT Rock
2011-06-04, 14:23
Red beans and rice with summer sausage over a few days makes some of the best gas.

General
2011-06-04, 14:25
add some ramps to that and you could get gas strong enough for forward propulsion.

SGT Rock
2011-06-04, 16:14
Sounds good. I usually just add habanero, but ramps would be great in season.

Kanga
2011-06-04, 16:28
I think it would be best to announce the following before my next hike...

When I pack, I ain't packin'
What I carry, ain't considered carryin'
My knife is small... and plastic
I simply carry my brain and my wits, but my friends call be a simple, brainless nitwit :albertein

I feel so defenseless! :bath:

Oh my, whatever should I do? I am so skeered. :ahhhhh:

fat albert! whassup?!

Russell
2011-06-04, 16:31
fat albert! whassup?!

+1 Kanga.

john pickett
2011-06-04, 16:45
Does this contravene the Geneva Convention? Poison gas?

Tin Man
2011-06-04, 22:17
Does this contravene the Geneva Convention? Poison gas?

it's okay since it's organic

Tuckahoe
2011-06-04, 22:45
I have to say that the one thing I like about this forum there is a place on the profile to list your weapons. There seems to be a lack of cry babies like on another forum!

Skidsteer
2011-06-04, 22:51
I have to say that the one thing I like about this forum there is a place on the profile to list your weapons. There seems to be a lack of cry babies like on another forum!

An armed society is a polite society.

fiddlehead
2011-06-05, 01:54
Check this guy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_1PfqGVSg0) out.
You can tell he really enjoys what he is doing.

Sierra Echo
2011-06-05, 01:56
I personally think that beating someone about the head, neck and chest with my trekking pole sounds like a rip roaring good time!

Austin
2011-06-05, 07:38
Red beans and rice with summer sausage over a few days makes some of the best gas.

And some damn good eatin' too.

Austin
2011-06-05, 07:46
I personally think that beating someone about the head, neck and chest with my trekking pole sounds like a rip roaring good time!

Till they shoot ya, yeah.

P.S. A trekking pole is nothing to someone the really wants to "get ya"
I don't care how you use it. ..or how bad you think you are.

Sierra Echo
2011-06-05, 09:46
Till they shoot ya, yeah.



If they are coming at me with a gun they probably planned to shoot me the entire time. Might as well get some satisfaction out of it.

Kanga
2011-06-05, 09:59
Check this guy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_1PfqGVSg0) out.
You can tell he really enjoys what he is doing.

i love him..

Kanga
2011-06-05, 10:01
sqq2abXXAvA&feature=player_profilepage#t=51s

Sierra Echo
2011-06-05, 10:36
i love him..

I want his shirt!

JoeyB
2011-06-05, 11:08
I want his shirt!

that's the 1st thing i thought as well.


If they are coming at me with a gun they probably planned to shoot me the entire time. Might as well get some satisfaction out of it.

used properly, the victim never sees the gun.
hears it, and perhaps sees the muzzle flash.

http://s2.postimage.org/rs4cqf8nu/g1228762964171.jpg

Kanga
2011-06-05, 15:07
I want his shirt!

you take the shirt, i get what's inside.

SGT Rock
2011-06-05, 15:09
I have to say that the one thing I like about this forum there is a place on the profile to list your weapons. There seems to be a lack of cry babies like on another forum!

We just want to get it out of the way that we are not afraid of people with weapons. Someone who knows what they are doing and carries a legal fire arm in the course of their own business is fine with me.

I was going to join the Smokey Mountain Hiking Club after they finally got rid of their stupid "required hike with the club" rule before you could join. But when I went to fill out their membership form they also have this:

Anyone at least 16 years of age and agreeing to the Club’s Code of Ethics may join.

Then in the code of ethics:


Carry no firearms in the Park or elsewhere on any scheduled hike.
It is no ones business if I carry a concealed legal firearm except mine. I wrote them that I almost never carry when backpacking, but I reserve the right to and I wasn't going to agree to give up my right to do something that is perfectly legal.

Imagine if the club had a rule that tried to limit your right of free speech while on a hike: "You are not allowed to ever say anything negative about the National Park Service or the Smokey Mountain Hiking Club while on a group hike." People would revolt if you tried to limit that right.

I got told they don't plan on changing it. I told them I won't consider joining until it changed. I don't "need" them to hike, but they need people to maintain the AT. The AT in the park doesn't get Park Service maintenance like the other trails do. And they have a long list of sections that don't have maintainers - mainly because the SMHC has made it so hard to join for years. I told them that they might want to look at making their club more inclusive instead of coming up with rules to exclude people.

Wow, I just ranted.

Sierra Echo
2011-06-05, 15:13
you take the shirt, i get what's inside.

I'll think about it! :tongue:

ed bell
2011-06-05, 15:13
Wow, I just ranted.

Yeah, but it's a cohesive and well thought out rant...good stuff.

sheepdog
2011-06-05, 21:15
I always carry iocane powder. The battle ends when we each drink from our own glass.

Nearly Normal
2011-06-05, 22:23
Red Beans and rice w/ sausage is always Monday. A throw back from living in La for a while. Gets you over the weekend.

vonfrick
2011-06-05, 22:45
I always carry iocane powder. The battle ends when we each drink from our own glass.

my way is not very sportsmanlike

SleepsWithSkunks
2011-06-05, 23:46
I always carry iocane powder. The battle ends when we each drink from our own glass.

oh...then you must be sicilian.

Gray Blazer
2011-06-06, 08:50
Imagine if the club had a rule that tried to limit your right of free speech while on a hike: "You are not allowed to ever say anything negative about the National Park Service or the Smokey Mountain Hiking Club while on a group hike." People would revolt if you tried to limit that right.



Sounds like someone I know.

Gray Blazer
2011-06-06, 12:57
you take the shirt, i get what's inside.

I'm surprised no one wants his piss (going by what it says on his shirt). There must be someone who wants an excellent golden shower.

Sierra Echo
2011-06-06, 15:04
I'm surprised no one wants his piss (going by what it says on his shirt). There must be someone who wants an excellent golden shower.

yeah, that ones yours!

Gray Blazer
2011-06-06, 15:41
yeah, that ones yours!

LOL :ahhhhh:

Rockhound
2011-06-12, 08:46
What does Nature Boy carry for defense?

Lone Wolf
2011-06-12, 08:51
What does Nature Boy carry for defense?

a wicked imagination?

Tin Man
2011-06-12, 15:59
a wicked imagination?

hehe... you bad, but prolly right :beer:

Weary
2011-06-12, 18:29
hehe... you bad, but prolly right :beer:
LW sometimes tells things that are not supposed to be believed. But from time to time he has said he carries not to protect himself, but to protect less imaginative hikers. Well, he's written things vaguely like that.

It's my guess that he is too wise to carry a piece of heavy, rarely used, iron in his backpack very often or very far.

If we could get most potential attackers to read this forum, at the first signs of problems, he would need only to yell "Hey, beware, I'm Lone Wolf," well, unless, of course, the assailants were into life-dealing challenges, or just wanted an excuse to be killed, or whatever.

Imagination is a terrible thing to have to live with.

sheepdog
2011-06-12, 19:07
since I carry all the time anyway; a pistol is not extra weight.:bandit:

Skidsteer
2011-06-12, 19:15
It's my guess that he is too wise to carry a piece of heavy, rarely used, iron in his backpack very often or very far.

Why not? Hitting golf balls off the top of Balds is a lot of fun.

Nearly Normal
2011-06-12, 19:44
lw sometimes tells things that are not supposed to be believed. But from time to time he has said he carries not to protect himself, but to protect less imaginative hikers. Well, he's written things vaguely like that.

It's my guess that he is too wise to carry a piece of heavy, rarely used, iron in his backpack very often or very far.

If we could get most potential attackers to read this forum, at the first signs of problems, he would need only to yell "hey, beware, i'm lone wolf," well, unless, of course, the assailants were into life-dealing challenges, or just wanted an excuse to be killed, or whatever.

Imagination is a terrible thing to have to live with.

wdtfa

Weary
2011-06-12, 19:59
wdtfa
HMMM. no one on google seems to know what wdtfa means.

General
2011-06-12, 20:07
Why not? Hitting golf balls off the top of Balds is a lot of fun.

5 or 6 iron. just enough loft, plenty of flight. freakin' driver's too long. hard to pack. ever play at skitts mountain/mossy creek.

sheepdog
2011-06-12, 20:47
Why not? Hitting golf balls off the top of Balds is a lot of fun.

It's good for smacking the LNT minions too.

Skidsteer
2011-06-12, 22:16
5 or 6 iron. just enough loft, plenty of flight. freakin' driver's too long. hard to pack. ever play at skitts mountain/mossy creek.

No, I haven't played golf since I left Ohio. I have enough expensive hobbies already.

Lone Wolf
2011-06-12, 22:49
LW sometimes tells things that are not supposed to be believed. But from time to time he has said he carries not to protect himself, but to protect less imaginative hikers. Well, he's written things vaguely like that.

It's my guess that he is too wise to carry a piece of heavy, rarely used, iron in his backpack very often or very far.

If we could get most potential attackers to read this forum, at the first signs of problems, he would need only to yell "Hey, beware, I'm Lone Wolf," well, unless, of course, the assailants were into life-dealing challenges, or just wanted an excuse to be killed, or whatever.

Imagination is a terrible thing to have to live with.
you be a wise muthafucka

JAK
2011-06-13, 07:27
What would you do for self defense, and unimaginative fellow hiker defense, if you were a foriegner from Canada hiking on the AT ? Just askin'.

Tin Man
2011-06-13, 07:35
What would you do for self defense, and unimaginative fellow hiker defense, if you were a foriegner from Canada hiking on the AT ? Just askin'.

don't tell anyone you are from canada... or your name is JAK. :albertein

Superman
2011-06-13, 07:44
don't tell anyone you are from canada... or your name is JAK. :albertein

That's what....half a word?:angel:

Rockhound
2011-06-13, 08:15
LW sometimes tells things that are not supposed to be believed. But from time to time he has said he carries not to protect himself, but to protect less imaginative hikers. Well, he's written things vaguely like that.

It's my guess that he is too wise to carry a piece of heavy, rarely used, iron in his backpack very often or very far.

If we could get most potential attackers to read this forum, at the first signs of problems, he would need only to yell "Hey, beware, I'm Lone Wolf," well, unless, of course, the assailants were into life-dealing challenges, or just wanted an excuse to be killed, or whatever.

Imagination is a terrible thing to have to live with.

You just reminded me of a quote from "The Untouchables"
"Who would claim to be that who is is not?"

sheepdog
2011-06-13, 11:07
What would you do for self defense, and unimaginative fellow hiker defense, if you were a foriegner from Canada hiking on the AT ? Just askin'.

Just tell them you're from Canada, It's like being a lions fan. Most figgure you have enough problems and leave you alone. :bike:

Tin Man
2011-06-13, 11:10
tell them you're from Canada, It's like being a lions fan. Most figgure you have enough problems and leave you alone. :bike:

hahahahaha :top:

JAK
2011-06-13, 13:31
Lots of good ideas there. lol
Maybe I could carry a paddle or an oar, or a hockey stick.
Might be enough to keep people guessing.

Tin Man
2011-06-13, 13:33
just don't say 'eh?' at the end of each sentence and you should be fine

sheepdog
2011-06-13, 14:11
you betcha by golly eh

Amigi
2011-06-13, 15:38
I still believe hiking the AT with a firearm isnt the wisest of choices, though I do realize the times have changed and there are quite a number of degenerates living on the trail these days. I still carry when on the FT, more so because of animals than people.

Nearly Normal
2011-06-13, 21:21
HMMM. no one on google seems to know what wdtfa means.

Good!

GGS
2011-06-14, 00:33
What would you do for self defense, and unimaginative fellow hiker defense, if you were a foriegner from Canada hiking on the AT ? Just askin'.

I would think some engineer type would come up with a walking stick that had a shell chambered in the tip. Just point it at the threatening party and push a hidden button. Kind of like the cane the one dude had in James Bond "The World Is Not Enough"

JAK
2011-06-14, 06:31
you betcha by golly eh

I'm pretty sure the U.P. is either part of Canada, or Canada is the Upper Upper Peninsula. How she goin' eh?

sheepdog
2011-06-14, 12:47
I'm pretty sure the U.P. is either part of Canada, or Canada is the Upper Upper Peninsula. How she goin' eh?

Some believe it should be it's own country. You can call God on the phone and it's a local call.

john pickett
2011-06-14, 12:52
"Maybe I could carry a paddle or an oar" In the story of Jeremiah Johnson, he is said to have walked inland carrying an oar over his shoulder. When someone asked him why he was carrying that "piece of wood" he knew he was far enough from the ocean to be able to settle.

SGT Rock
2011-06-14, 15:45
Miyamoto Musashi was a total badass. He used a boat oar to kill a master samurai armed with a real katana in a dual.

So if your trail name is Miyamoto Musashi and you are hiking with an oar, then you could be very dangerous.

Hog On Ice
2011-06-14, 17:26
remember Wyoming Skateboarder?

http://hikers99.homestead.com/files/0519wyoming.jpg

Weary
2011-06-18, 16:50
Originally Posted by Weary
HMMM. no one on google seems to know what wdtfa means.
Good!
I'm beginning to think no one on Hiking HQ knows either. Or perhaps it has no meaning. A common affliction, here abouts.

Superman
2011-06-18, 17:40
We Don't Fuck Around?

Hog On Ice
2011-06-18, 18:02
Warren Doyle, the FA

Superman
2011-06-18, 18:04
Warren Doyle, the FA

What's FA?:bath:

Russell
2011-06-18, 18:06
Fat Ass?

Superman
2011-06-18, 18:06
Warren Doyle, the FA

What's a Warren Doyal?

Skidsteer
2011-06-18, 18:15
I'm beginning to think no one on Hiking HQ knows either. Or perhaps it has no meaning. A common affliction, here abouts.

Knowing Nearly Normal, it's probably Gullah.

dixicritter
2011-06-18, 19:36
I'm beginning to think no one on Hiking HQ knows either. Or perhaps it has no meaning. A common affliction, here abouts.

Or no one cares what it means but you.

Rockhound
2011-06-18, 20:56
WDTFA?
Wearys' diapers totally full again?
We don't take frickin' Amex?
Weary's destined to fall, Accident?
We don't treat filthy agua?
Why do the Floridians aggravate?
Whiteblaze dick. That frickin Alligator?

Lone Wolf
2011-06-18, 20:57
What's FA?:bath:

foremost authoraty

mudhead
2011-06-18, 20:59
Just tell them you're from Canada, It's like being a lions fan. Most figgure you have enough problems and leave you alone. :bike:

Or a Redwings fan.



Some believe it should be it's own country. You can call God on the phone and it's a local call.


OK- I take it back. Bruins suck.

sheepdog
2011-06-19, 06:27
OK- I take it back. Bruins suck.

http://youtu.be/QVS3WNt7yRU
QVS3WNt7yRU

Bearpaw
2011-06-19, 17:45
remember Wyoming Skateboarder?

http://hikers99.homestead.com/files/0519wyoming.jpg

Yep. Passed him in Tennessee heading north. Met him again in Maine after he flip-flopped from HF. I'm pretty sure he holds the record for the longest thru-hike at 350-something days. Feb 99 - Jan 00.

He was definitely different, but I really liked the guy.

SGT Rock
2011-06-19, 17:48
Looks like he was the inspiration for MiniSmith.

Bearpaw
2011-06-19, 17:55
Looks like he was the inspiration for MiniSmith.

Personality was nearly polar opposite. He did note blowdowns and maintenance problems, but not to complain, merely to point out to maintainers as a heads up. He carried a hatchet and collapsible bow saw and he routinely cleared a lot of stuff while he was out there.

Never tried to lecture any body on any issue of trail etiquette or technique unless somebody asked him. Very unassuming and usually pretty quiet. He was upbeat in a tired-but-happy way.

And everybody knew him for hiking with that boat paddle. Good guy.