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Ray
2016-03-09, 21:18
Hello. My name is Ray.

Superman
2016-03-09, 21:48
Hello. My name is Ray.

Hi Ray!

Ray
2016-03-09, 22:02
It all started when I signed onto a barbecue facebook page. I heard about buckboard bacon, a pork shoulder cured like bacon then sliced thin.

I ordered a 5 pound bag of curing salt. It only takes half an ounce of salt per pound of pork.

Just one ounce for every two pounds ... that's maybe two tablespoons. How could that hurt?

The term "maple syrup" only meant pancakes at the time. If I only knew ... man, if I only knew...

Ray
2016-03-09, 22:12
My family became enablers.

My wife bought me a meat slicer for Christmas.

Superman
2016-03-09, 22:15
Couldn't you just say "NO?"

Ray
2016-03-09, 22:17
The first fry was free.

Sargevining
2016-03-09, 22:33
Probably sacrilege, but both these recipes use Bacon Flavored Spam Bites.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frhAH7HTyow&index=1&list=PLSqjIjcsk2faLhAEPX0ZzML5tsamr294P


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMSgpWlzFzI&index=6&list=PLSqjIjcsk2faLhAEPX0ZzML5tsamr294P

But this one does use Bacon Bits.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGBsFOFTL9g&index=2&list=PLSqjIjcsk2faLhAEPX0ZzML5tsamr294P

Ray
2016-03-09, 23:16
Probably sacrilege, but both these recipes use Bacon Flavored Spam Bites.

....

But this one does use Bacon Bits.

Those might be gateway drugs. But they aren't bacon.

I don't know how to say this ... but I moved on to pork bellies.

I told my family it was just for flavoring baked beans.

saimyoji
2016-03-09, 23:55
http://www.baconholics.com/

Ray
2016-03-10, 00:52
http://www.baconholics.com/

From that website:

How do you cure your own bacon?
The first step in curing your own is simple and requires the pork belly to be soaked in a brine for 3 days, turning over every 24 hours.

The second step is to dry your meat. About a half hour to an hour on each side should be sufficient.

The final step is to cold-smoke your meat six to eight hours, don't allow the temperature to go above 80 degrees.

The first steps into hell and yet how little they know. They don't even mention maple syrup, coarse ground black pepper or apple wood.

That's like trying to prep your veins for shooting heroin without ... ok, so I'm lost here. But without doing something important.

So my skills at making similes are like something that's not very good.

Superman
2016-03-10, 01:56
I'm so old I only think of maple on pancakes. Maple bacon is something they do in the left state of Vermont. They do crazy stuff over there. I have bought maple flavored bacon by accident...to my horror. It's best left in the freezer until flat landers visit. Flat landers are into blasphemy. Maple bacon is mentioned in the bible. It's where it talks about having false gods before me. Maybe that's the gay part but it's in the book. I could look it up if I didn't have the book leveling the table leg.

Ray
2016-03-10, 02:38
I'm so old I only think of maple on pancakes. Maple bacon is something they do in the left state of Vermont. They do crazy stuff over there. I have bought maple flavored bacon by accident...to my horror. It's best left in the freezer until flat landers visit. Flat landers are into blasphemy. Maple bacon is mentioned in the bible. It's where it talks about having false gods before me. Maybe that's the gay part but it's in the book. I could look it up if I didn't have the book leveling the table leg.Once I thought I could control it too. I'd only use it with friends or on special occasions. Then I needed a fry just to get me through the morning, only a couple slices, no big thing. I so thought I could control it. I was so wrong.

Superman
2016-03-10, 02:56
Once I thought I could control it too. I'd only use it with friends or on special occasions. Then I needed a fry just to get me through the morning, only a couple slices, no big thing. I so thought I could control it. I was so wrong.

It's sad to see good folks sucked into the ways of maple bacon. I always assumed it was because flat landers are weak willed. I also speculated that the companies that cure the maple bacon put heroine or some other drug in it. It's now listed in DMSIII.

Crikey
2016-03-10, 09:14
Maple bacon is legal in Colorado and Washington.

Skidsteer
2016-03-10, 09:17
Maple bacon is legal in Colorado and Washington.

As is having sex with trees.

Coincidence? I think not.

Crikey
2016-03-10, 09:23
As is having sex with trees.

Coincidence? I think not.

Well, it does involve drilling a hole.

Hog On Ice
2016-03-10, 18:54
so how many trees have you tapped?

Ray
2016-03-10, 21:03
It got worse. I went to see my dealer. Some call them butchers.

I told him I needed some pork bellies. He didn't carry them in the store but said he could special order a case. I told him I didn't need that much.
He said he could package and sell the remainder.

A few days later I got the call. He asked me how much I wanted. I said 40 or 50 dollars worth cut into slabs that would fit into one gallon ziplock bags.

I cured two of the slabs and froze the rest. But the butcher didn't repackage the rest because it would be a waste of time.

He knew I'd be back.

Tin Man
2016-03-10, 22:40
i see pork bellies in your futures...

warraghiyagey
2016-03-10, 23:22
Am I the only one who thinks maple and bacon don't belong together..... bacon is the one perfect food....

Superman
2016-03-10, 23:29
Am I the only one who thinks maple and bacon don't belong together..... bacon is the one perfect food....

Oh no...I agree with Whargy. Bacon is....bacon. Maple is....syrup. They are both perfect foods but they do not have a synergistic effect.

sheepdog
2016-03-10, 23:34
I can quit whenever I want to.

I just don't want to.

sheepdog
2016-03-10, 23:35
Am I the only one who thinks maple and bacon don't belong together..... bacon is the one perfect food....

yes....yes you are.....alone......

hikerboy
2016-03-10, 23:36
i dont have a bacon problem.
not until you try to take it from me.

saimyoji
2016-03-10, 23:41
I will be totally honest here. I like pork products. But Im not crazy about bacon. Is there a group for people like me?

Tin Man
2016-03-11, 03:41
I will be totally honest here. I like pork products. But Im not crazy about bacon. Is there a group for people like me?

Yes, there is a group. Google loser.com.

Sarcasm The Elf
2016-03-13, 03:06
Yes, there is a group. Google loser.com.


I assume that you don't know what the loser.com site is at the moment?

Tin Man
2016-03-13, 04:56
I assume that you don't know what the loser.com site is at the moment?

You assume wrong...

Ray
2016-03-13, 20:21
This is what 17 pounds of pork belly looks like.

6014

sheepdog
2016-03-13, 20:56
This is what 17 pounds of pork belly looks like.

6014

so that's from the big dealer in Columbia? before you cut if for resale?